This is a small painting I began during the week, after I wrote my last post about the confusion I was feeling. I grabbed a handful of colors and brush and began aimlessly painting my feelings. I saw a newspaper lying next to me and decided to incorporate some headlines and articles. Today, I added a pastel drawing: A girl in the corner, burying her head: Protecting herself from the world around her. And the saying "sometimes no news is good news".
While being the recipient of good news is always great, being on the receiving end of bad news seldom feels so good. In fact, I think most would agree that it f***ing sucks. Especially for a person who doesn't deal with feelings as productively as she should. Too often have I bottled my emotions and let them explode at an inopportune moments. I'm trying much harder these days to deal with the realities that life offers, even if it means that I have to contemplate the path that I travel much more often.
I've always taken comfort in this little saying. It's a saying that, in my immediate family, always follows the phrase: "So other than that, there's nothing else new or exciting going on." But the reality is, sometimes there is news. It's not always exciting, and you have to deal with it the best you can and be a comfort to those around you. Getting some of my feelings out onto a canvas felt... I don't know... fulfilling, I guess. Much better than an explosive crying fit. Although I'm only 1/2 through a bottle of wine: The night is young.
