On Monday night, I was thinking about how tired I was from running around like a nutcase and how I hoped that I'd be able to stay awake (and un-grumpy) to fully enjoy Tuesday night. Little did I know then, that my mind tried to secretly sabotage me into thinking that way. All because of that tiny bit of self doubt! Shit, this thinking is impressive. I need coffee to finish these thoughts. Let's reflect.
How do I explain this properly?... if I have tasks to do today, I'll do them in the order that I've placed them... A,B,C, D, etc. Before I go about these tasks, I think about how I will feel when I complete them. Remember? On Monday night, I thought that I would feel tired and grumpy last night. However, for one reason or another, last night I diverged off my usual path of inadvertently predicting my feelings, and I meandered into uncharted Jill waters. It was very freeing, and it felt wonderfully un-anxious. At the end of the night, I felt enjoyment because I did enjoy myself, not because I thought I would enjoy myself. I think that's about as clear as that thought is going to get.
Diverging off my set path breathed life into my night and gave me this renewed sense of energy. That sentence might not be grammatically correct, but honey badger don't care. I face today with excitement about upcoming art projects and about life. Move over Confucius, there's a new thinker in town. And she just finished her coffee.
