much success! a guide for goal achievement and such

So lately I've been hitting some of the goals I set out for myself, like paying off my student loans, making fun stuff for people, and .... that might be the entire list. (high five ya'll)  People have been asking me "DAMN JILL, how you be doing that?"** So I thought I'd share some tips on how to, you know... accomplish goals.

Here are my thoughts:
1. Believe in yourself, damnit. You have no idea what you're capable of, so go ahead and try something new. I was asked this weekend to run a 10k race with a friend. I have never run that far in my entire life. But I had two choices: Yes or no. If I said yes, I'd either fail or succeed. So why not try? And guess what, I did it! Here's another example: I wanted to go to dental hygiene school. But as a nine-fingered 30 year old, I put the doubt in my mind that I would most likely fail. But I also promised myself that I'd do whatever it took to reach my goal. True, I sacrificed a lot. But now I'm a full-time dental hygienist and part time educator. Who would have thought two years ago that I would be where I am today? Honestly, not me. There's no reason why you can't try something new, so stop making excuses!

2. You'll fail sometimes. But who gives a shit if you fail? Most likely, you'll be the only person who gives a shit. But instead of being all pissed off at yourself, just remember: You didn't have to go out on a limb and try. But you did! Be proud of trying something new. It takes balls, and now my friend, you've got balls. Be proud of those balls! Do you think I woke up one day and was like I'M GOING TO SEW A MOTHERF****** QUILT AND MAKE A SHIT TON OF STUFF OUT OF TIES!!!? Nope. Friends, I've been sewing since before I could drive. I've had MANY MANY sewing fails, including a shirt that LITERALLY split open at the seams while I was at a party. I've even machine sewed my thumb by accident. But did I give up? Naaah.

3. If you fail, then don't beat yourself up. You're human, not a damn robot. Life is full of ups and downs. You know the expression when it rains, it pours? Guess what: THAT EXPRESSION IS PURE BULLSHIT. It makes you think that when one shitty thing happens, then other shitty things will pile right on top of it until you're covered in shit. Here's what people don't tell you: The rain brings out the beautiful colors in life, like the brightness of the leaves on trees after a rainstorm. Which means, sure: Bad shit is going to happen. But take a look at everything  around you. When you take a minute to realize how fortunate you really are, the one shitty thing happening can't ruin your day like it use to. 

4. If you want to feel like shit, then go right ahead and feel like shit. Or be happy if you want to be happy. The lesson is, don't let anyone tell you how to feel. You're your own person. Don't let others dictate your feelings or make you feel small.

5. Treat others how you want to be treated. You know how I go around being nice to everyone? Guess what? It's because I'd also like people to be nice to me.  I have a real problem with people that are shitty to others, either because they judge a book by their cover, they are prejudice against their race, religion, sexual orientation, or hell, because they're nerdy, overweight, skinny or whatever the case is. We're all human, damnit: Nothing makes you superior to the person you're judging.

So, that's my life advice. Technically I'm allowed to give advice now that I'm in my thirties. But hey, just remember: You're taking advice from a person who has zits, twirls, wears children's hats, gets nose bleeds, hangs out with butterflies and mimics a child eating ravioli. You're welcome.

**More like, "good for you", and no mention of a question asking me how I did these things. 

over-over-overdue

Like the title says, over-over-overdue!

I'm taking my national board exams tomorrow. I already completed 4 of them (clinical exam, jurisprudence, local anesthesia and CDCA/NERB). Once I complete tomorrows 350 question grueling exam, I will be OFFICIALLY DONE with my understudies to become a dental hygienist. After that, alls I need is a license to practice! Which means...


I SHALL RETURN VALIANTLY TO THE WORLD OF ARTS, CRAFTS, FREE-TIME AND GENERAL RELAXATION! HUZZAH!

LOOK! Here I am contemplating things! Like, what kind of art project will I start on Wednesday? Do these glasses magically transport me to 1980 when I'm asleep? And, if I hold this pose long enough, will people think that I'm actually contemplating something?

a little help from my friends (and major corporations)

So with the prospect of going back to school for Dental Hygiene, I ran into a little bit of what I'd call a 'mental roadblock'. While I know that I am perfectly capable and able to mentally and physically complete the program, I didn't want others (that being professors or classmates) to think that I physically wouldn't be able to because of my left hand. Nothing has ever really held me back (except ring around the rosie) and this won't either: I can sculpt, paint, type, sew, sign ASL and do most anything anyone else can do. Maybe a little better sometimes. I'm not bragging. This is just a fact. The only thing that I could foresee being a quote-unquote 'problem' was having the disposable Nitrile gloves not fit me properly. So naturally I did what any other person would do.

I started reaching out to every single Nitrile glove manufacturers and distributors I could find in the USA to see if they in any way could help me in my quest to find or make a custom fitted disposable Nitrile glove. So far, I've contacted 13 companies. Two companies emailed me back and said that they wouldn't be able to help. Which is totally fine, I'd rather have someone respond with an answer than not respond at all. One company representative called me to explain that they did not actually produce the gloves, but that she would forward my inquiry to companies that she knew of. (She also told me, good for you for following your dreams and not letting anything hold you back. TEAR!)

One company emailed me back to say "I hope that we can help you with your needs. I will consult with our team to see if there is a glove we can dip for you."

WAIT.
WHAT?
SOMEONE CAN HELP?

ER.
MAH.
GERD.

Thus begins my quest: To dig deep back into my mold making routes to make a perfect resin cast of my left hand to send to this generous company.

On Sunday, I made an alginate mold of my hand and a perfect plaster cast. From here, I will make a simple two-piece plater mold of the cast so I will be able to cast multiple hands in resin. I had forgotten how much fun it is to make a mold.. the materials, the preparation, the anticipation of cutting the alginate away to see how the cast came out. It's bliss.

Also, I need to get on my game and take some pictures. These pictureless posts are lame.

culmination

It seriously took me a couple days to put my thoughts together to write this post. You could say this post entitled culmination is the culmination of thoughts, but it's mostly about the culmination of one of my most difficult projects. Actually, it's all about the culmination of my most difficult project. I never thought I could use that word 4 TIMES in the same post!

I FINISHED THE QUILT.
That's right... The quilt is finished! Der Quilt ist fertig! El quilt está terminado!

As you might recall, in my last quilt post I noted that I needed to hand stitch the open seam closed to the backing fabric and officially 'sign' the quilt. I began by pinning the binding in place with my super long 1-1/2" flat quilting pins. Then, since I'm not a very good hand-stitcher, I thought it would be wise to do some research on which stitch would be best to finish the open seam. (PS: Typing which stitch would be best is just as hard as saying it three times fast.) I ended up choosing the blind stitch thanks to the awesome instructions and description on this blog called Quilting in the Rain. <--- If you have a couple of minutes, please check out her blog: It's unbelievable, plus it's so bright and cheery!

It look me a little while to find my stride when it came to blind stitching, but over the course of a week, I diligently sewed the night away. I pricked my fingers.. and legs... and arms a couple of times, thanks to those super long 1-1/2" quilting pins. But with every stitch, I knew that I was getting closer and closer to finishing my first quilt.

On Saturday night, I sat down on the couch and began stitching away, knowing that within a couple of hours my project would be finished. I thought about all the work that went into making it. I thought each strip of fabric that I pieced together, sewing them onto the muslin blocks, pressing them flat and fashioning them all into rows and columns. I thought about how I almost convinced myself to send it out to get finished, and the moment it dawned on me to just give it my best shot. I thought about all of my family, and the signatures that they added to different blocks of fabric. And then I thought about the one signature that was missing. Adelaide Ruess. 

So, I added it myself. 

I was emotionally and physically exhausted after finishing it, and ended up falling asleep on the couch wrapped up in my new quilt. I was so happy that I accomplished my goal of making a quilt, but I was also quite sad. It's cruel to me that I can't show it to Audi. But in my heart, somehow I think that she has seen it. I hope she's as proud of me as I am of myself.

If you'd like to look back at all of the quilt related posts, you can find them right here.

blanket is fo'evs

Not many friends of mine still have their baby blanket. Yes, you could consider me some sort of odd-ball because YES, I still have mine. It's name is Blanket. I sleep with it every night. Maybe I shouldn't be making these statements over the internets.

Anywho, I went to the fabric store last Friday because my dear Blanket was in desperate need of help. I've washed it so many times over the past... oh... 29 years, that the fabric was literally shredding apart. Mind you, that Blanket has been recovered twice already. So the original blanket was enclosed in a blanket, which was within the outermost blanket. I picked a yard of yellow and a yard of white, paid for my purchase, and went home to work on Blanket. I didn't finish it in one night though. Which meant that:

I WAS WITHOUT MY BLANKET FOR ONE NIGHT.
THE HORROR.

The next day, I woke up depressed because of my non-Blanket night, but I was determined to finish it. I completed the blanket's envelope the night before, and all I had left to do was pin the blanket to the interior of the envelope, stitch it in place, and of course... add the signature "Jill's Blanket" to the corner. It let's everyone know to BACK OFF, because it's MY BLANKET.


I didn't choose the blanket life. The blanket life chose me.

It has been with me from my earliest, most surly days. See how upset I was? Why was everyone smiling? Clearly I was sad that I couldn't eat turkey yet. It was also with me the day I tried to eat my shoe. It traveled with me to my Audi's house. Lady dog loved my blanket. It was with me every Christmas: From the year that I got thee Domino Rally, to the one where I had brace-face and got my froggy slippers from Santa. It even traveled with me to Florida on our Griswold family vacation. So what if I was in my second year of college?

I may be a softy because I sleep with my Blanket, but I love it and see no reason why I should give it up. There are very few mementos that we hold onto while we transition from childhood into adulthood, other than pictures and Polaroids that we can look back on in our later years. But every time I curl up with my Blanket, it instantly transports me to every single night I've fallen asleep with it. There's not many things in life that can do that.

ERMAHGERD! BLAAAANKERRRRRT!

time to step up.

Hurricanes. They're no joke. Period.

I know a lot of people were poking fun at those who went to the store to stock up on basic provisions like food, water and batteries to prepare for the storm. I sat by those conversations, but tuned them out and refused to contribute in any way. You know why? Because the people who prepared for the worst, but hoped for the best were smart. Sure, forecasters can hype up storms, and media coverage is completely redonk: They can cause a sense of panic, which is an unnecessary douchey-move. But to think that some of those people, the ones who did prepare, are still in the dark while their supplies quickly dwindle... how funny is that now, huh? It's not, and it never was.

I consider myself to be insanely lucky that no harm came to myself, my boyfriend future husband, or our home. We didn't even loose power, which is remarkable when thinking back to how the wind was howling, bending trees at odd angles and sending the rain down the road in cascading sheets. My family is unharmed. Some still without electricity, heat or running water. There were some lost trees and some scattered damages. But all are alive and healthy. What more could I ask for? Not too damn much.

You begin to think of everything that you take for granted on a daily basis, and it's overwhelming to think about how lucky you really are. Going to the grocery store. Filling up your gas tank. Making a cup of coffee. Sometimes I think I should not be this fortunate, and guilt slowly begins to bear down on my shoulders. Why did I come out unscathed, while my sister, who is nine months pregnant, has a cold, dark house without running water? How is that f***ing fair, I ask? It's not. Life isn't fair.

My sense guilt has turned into determination to help. We can all help. Disasters happen in this country and in this world every day. You can make donations to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Program by calling 1-800-RED CROSS or by texting REDCROSS to 90999. You can lend a hand to your neighbors. Do you have an extra blanket, jacket or gloves to give to someone who doesn't have heat? How about inviting them over for a hot meal and a chance to warm up? Are you going to the store? You can buy an extra gallon of water, some toothpaste or some canned goods for your community relief shelter. Do you know anyone who was evacuated? How about asking them if they'd like to stay at your house, even if it's just for a night or two? In short, anything can help. Kindness and consideration for others, no matter how small, might mean the world to someone who is in need. 

Homes? They can be repaired. Material possessions? They can be replaced. But saying those things cannot and will not fix the pain that so many thousands, dare I say, millions of people are bearing, and will bear in the weeks and months to come. Especially not to those who have lost everything, including loved ones. They need us.

all tied up.

Figuratively. And literally. But not like that. Figuratively I've been tied up with wedding planning. And ceiling fixing. And ignoring basic responsibilities in life while watching the Food Network. Literally I'm not tied up. How would I be typing this if I were tied up?

I've been sorta off lately, needless to say. I haven't felt much like blogging, crafting, or  all the other yadda yaddas. Most people I've told this to say that it's normal for people to relax and not be "productive" all the time. But for me, not doing those things becomes literally depressing. I feel like I should be working on wine bags, poof ball flowers and be all sunshine and smiles. But when I try to find the motivation in me to start sewing or crafting... well, there is none. So I sit down instead. And think of all the things I could be doing. And I don't do anything. Except I watch the Food Network. F***ing Food Network. Everything is so ga'damn delicious.

Luckily, that all changed yesterday. I finally told myself ENOUGH ALREADY! No more excuses!

I went out and got 7.5 yards of fabric. Today, I sewed the exterior of 7 new wine bags, in a completely new design! And I cut the inside fabric for a total of 16 wine bags.

new tie pattern!

new fabric!

In other news, I kinda looked like Where's Waldo today.

don't hate.

anxiety painting

I've been quite the fan of splatter paintings lately. You might recall my last two, abcdef FAIL. and Time to Eat??. The first part requires me to squeeze copious amounts of acrylic paint onto a 5x5 canvas. Controlled messiness is fun! After that, it's all about what I find in my mind to apply to the surface.

I started a new one this past week.. reds, creams and yellows. I accidentally blew a load of glitter over it. But I ended up liking it, thank God. There's no undoing glitter. Once it's there, IT'S THERE. It looked to harmonious, so I added silver. I remembered that I had my mom's old medical dictionary from when she did nursing... so I pulled it out and started perusing through different afflictions, disorders, viruses and diseases. Good times, indeed. Who knew that SO MUCH could go wrong within your own body?

I'm not sure what order I found things in, but I discovered various medical drawings of the body and explanations for anxiety disorders. I started combining them together on the surface, adding my own paintings and ink drawings to blend them all together. I'm still not finished, but here's the progress so far.