next on the list: the office

Usually I am in bed by now, because by this point in the day, my mind shuts down and I drift off to sleep. And I'm old. Today, however, I had a raging headache, fell asleep for 3 hours, then thought it would be a brilliant idea to have two caffeinated cups of tea at 7PM. Biiiiiiiiiiiiig mistake.

It is now after midnight and my mind has transformed into a friggin' craft circus.
WHAT PROJECT SHOULD I DO NEXT? It keeps saying. Painting? Sculpture? Quilting? Glass? Dental crap? Nah... I think I'm into redecorating my office space.

OK. When I say redecorate, I'm not talking about getting rid of my treasured shit in favor of new fancy shit that I won't use purely for the vanity of it. I love my space and my shit. But lately the dark orange paint is getting on my nerves. The room has always been dark orange, I never 100% liked it, but I worked around it. Now it just seems heavy as hell.

Like when you go to a restaurant, your eyes are bigger than your stomach and you get everything covered in Alfredo sauce, type of heavy. After awhile you stop and think, oh man... I can't take any more of this f***ing sauce.

My gosh, take a look at all this shit. There's a damn pig under my desk.

So here is what I'm thinking. Lose the dark orange. I think I'm going to do a faux-brick white-washed wall on the only exterior wall, which also has a window... goodbye forever to the stupid brown blinds, because I f***ing hate blinds. The desk is going to change a little. It's going to have some areas fixed because a bunny nibbled the bottom. Also, all of the cubby-areas that were painted orange will go white, or a sunny yellow color. The sliding stained glass panels... I might do another set in shards of light colors that I have collected over the years.

One wall will hopefully be just floor to ceiling art. I don't want to loose all the colors I have in here... just lighten the walls to make it feel bigger. Some furniture will have to be rearranged... things will get cleaned out, reorganized or donated. I'm not sure on the closet space yet. I made a shelving unit in there and everything behind it is that damn dark orange. Maybe I should just not cut corners, take it down, repaint and assemble again.

The ties will be hung and color coordinated. LIKE YOU HAD ANY DOUBT ABOUT THAT.

Not sure where I should start, to be honest. Maybe with just repairs of the desk first, and go from there. I think this will be a pretty cheap but very dramatic change for the better!

in my spare time, I made a f***ing quilt.

I have NO IDEA how I did not post ANYTHING about this over the past couple of months. I literally started this quilt... almost a year ago I think? AND NO. NOT ONE POST.

Not a look I bought fabric! post.
Not a I washed, pressed and cut all these squares! post.

some sample colors that I wove together for your viewing pleasure.

Not a look how many squares I made or look now the squares are sewed into blocks! post.

NOPE! NOTHING! So I'll have to summarize my misadventures in my 2nd, yes 2nd! quilt.

Back last May, after I took my board exams, passed! and was waiting (im)patiently for my license to practice, I decided to go to Jo-Ann's because damnit, I had a coupon. I bought 20 fat-quarters of fabric, a couple yards of white fabric with tiny little birdies on it, and an Omnigrid 8.5" square template. I didn't know what type of quilt I was going to make, but damnit, I was going to make another quilt.

Seriously, nothing against my first quilt, but it's not exactly big enough for our bed. I'm afraid one night we're going to rip it in half because we always seem to be yanking it to cover our feets.  Here's where it gets confusing. 

Each fat quarter gave me 4, 8.5" squares of colorful fabric.I now have 80 colorful squares. I then cut another 80 squares from the white fabric. Every colorful square was sewed to a white square, then cut down into 8 triangles. You can see below how I drew, on each white square: Diagonally with a 1/4" allowance, then in half. This made a total of 640 squares. Unfortunately, I needed to sew an additional 10 squares from scrap fabric, but I found this out early, allowing me to incorporate them seamlessly into my quilt!  SEAMLESSLY. GET IT?

Every triangle was then pressed open into a square. Then came the hard part: Trying to decide how I was going to assemble all of the now 650 squares. So I'll leave you with some pictures... the first set is just showing how I actually assembled the blocks, and the last photo is of all the colorful blocks! There were so many patterns to choose from, but that'll have to wait for yet another post...

spooky skeleton: college work

So in my absence of actually creating works of art, I decided to donate some of the things that I did as anatomical studies in college. The first college. You remember, the sculpture, the sewing....? The stained glass? ...No? Well, it's been awhile since I've posted, so I don't blame you for forgetting.

I might try to post a past project about once a week since well... you know... I don't have much time for anything else but fulcruming, rock n' rolling and probing. Now that I write that out, I realize that you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Ah, the Dental Hygiene life.

I think I did this skull back in... 2004? So almost a good 10 years ago. It's literally been sitting in my parents basement since then, freaking them out on occasion when they need to go get a gravy boat or a Christmas wreath, then BAM! There's a skull IN YO' FACE. I had almost completely forgotten about it, until one day I was thinking... WAIT A DANG SECOND. I need to know all of these muscles allllllll over again, just like I needed to know before... so why not pass along the skull so people can study from it? So it's going to my Dental Anatomy teacher in the hopes that people get a kick out of it. It's not going with the glasses though. Those are mine. 

did I accidentally sculpt duck face?

MOTHER mold

I worked hard to get the first part of the plaster mother mold finished on Monday night. I built up a bed  underneath my rubber mold so I could work on it horizontally instead of vertically. I WISH I DID THIS IN COLLEGE. Because it was so much f***ing easier to do than working on it vertically! I built up cut walls that extended about... oh, one inch or so from the edge of rubber mold, and made a running key. (This will ensure that the second part of the plaster mold will align and lock into the first part. HUZZAH!) I mixed by first batch of plaster and applied the first "splash" coat: It's just a super even, thorough coat of plaster. Once it hardened, I started making my hemp birds-nests.

You're probably like... dafuq? Check it. I mixed up my second batch of plaster, dipped one of these 'birds-nests' into the plaster, then applied it to the mold. This will give the mold a bit more girth and strength. I actually had to mix up a third batch because the birds-nests soaked up so much moisture from the plaster!

top, l: plastalina cut walls w/keys. top, r: plaster mold setting. bottom, l: side one, finished! bottom, r: another view!

After about an hour, I stood the mold up, got rid of the plastalina cut walls, and cleaned up the edges of the plaster mold.

Yesterday, I was going to do the second half of the mold, but I was working on homework, then ate steak and lost all of my ability to function like a human being. Tonight, I need to make sure to apply A LOT of coats of Muphy's Oil Soap to the edge of the existing plaster mold before I start the second part. This will put a barrier in between the two parts of the mold, and they won't stick together.

VERY. IMPORTANT. STEP.

Then, I'll throw on the second part of the mold and be done! With the mold that is. I still need to cast in resin. I'm hoping to do that one of these nights.

So little time.

more bags, more glory (part deux)

On Monday and Tuesday I began almost obsessively working on new wine bags to (HOPEFULLY!) sell at the Arc Mercer 2012 Walk-A-Thon taking place on Saturday May 18th at Veterans Park in Hamilton Township. NJ. While I didn't get my original goals done on Monday, I sure blew through them on Tuesday night. Here's what I have in the works:

23 NEW WINE BAGS!

46 pieces of fabric cut and pressed

736 inches (or over 61 feet!) of ties cut into 16" pieces for all 23 bags

2 tie-handles sewed onto each of the bags

excess pieces of tie from handles trimmed and saved to make the tiny tie for each bag

all 23 bags ironed and ready for the final sew

Also, I think I'm going to do special pricing from now on whenever I do a craft fair. Since Etsy charges the seller per transaction and per item post, I try to build those small costs into each bag. Since I'll be interacting with my (POTENTIAL!) customers one-on-one, I can drop the prices a little.

Anyone who grew up in the 80's and lived near New York remembers Crazy Eddie! I'm going to be the Crazy Eddie of wine bags.

culmination

It seriously took me a couple days to put my thoughts together to write this post. You could say this post entitled culmination is the culmination of thoughts, but it's mostly about the culmination of one of my most difficult projects. Actually, it's all about the culmination of my most difficult project. I never thought I could use that word 4 TIMES in the same post!

I FINISHED THE QUILT.
That's right... The quilt is finished! Der Quilt ist fertig! El quilt está terminado!

As you might recall, in my last quilt post I noted that I needed to hand stitch the open seam closed to the backing fabric and officially 'sign' the quilt. I began by pinning the binding in place with my super long 1-1/2" flat quilting pins. Then, since I'm not a very good hand-stitcher, I thought it would be wise to do some research on which stitch would be best to finish the open seam. (PS: Typing which stitch would be best is just as hard as saying it three times fast.) I ended up choosing the blind stitch thanks to the awesome instructions and description on this blog called Quilting in the Rain. <--- If you have a couple of minutes, please check out her blog: It's unbelievable, plus it's so bright and cheery!

It look me a little while to find my stride when it came to blind stitching, but over the course of a week, I diligently sewed the night away. I pricked my fingers.. and legs... and arms a couple of times, thanks to those super long 1-1/2" quilting pins. But with every stitch, I knew that I was getting closer and closer to finishing my first quilt.

On Saturday night, I sat down on the couch and began stitching away, knowing that within a couple of hours my project would be finished. I thought about all the work that went into making it. I thought each strip of fabric that I pieced together, sewing them onto the muslin blocks, pressing them flat and fashioning them all into rows and columns. I thought about how I almost convinced myself to send it out to get finished, and the moment it dawned on me to just give it my best shot. I thought about all of my family, and the signatures that they added to different blocks of fabric. And then I thought about the one signature that was missing. Adelaide Ruess. 

So, I added it myself. 

I was emotionally and physically exhausted after finishing it, and ended up falling asleep on the couch wrapped up in my new quilt. I was so happy that I accomplished my goal of making a quilt, but I was also quite sad. It's cruel to me that I can't show it to Audi. But in my heart, somehow I think that she has seen it. I hope she's as proud of me as I am of myself.

If you'd like to look back at all of the quilt related posts, you can find them right here.

midnight surprise

Last night, after a grueling workout at the YMCA and a successful outdoors Christmas decorating session, I reclined on the couch and debated my options for the evening. I could either:

1. Fall asleep on the couch while watching Monday Night Football, be super cranky when Lou wakes me up to come to bed, stumble upstairs and probably forget to brush my teeth, lay awake in said bed because of course, I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep.

2. Go upstairs, take care of business (bunny visits, personal hygiene, put laundry away, all those fun things) go to bed and read a book. Fall asleep in bed and not wake up grumpy or cranky.

I tried to be adult-ish, and I went with option number 2. But about 20 minutes after I jumped into bed, I heard my phone brrrrrrnnng-a-lllllnngggggg from downstairs. DRAT. I forgot to turn down the phone volume. Again, I considered my options:

1. Ignore that I left the phone's volume on super high. Risk being woken up at 6am from the alarm on the phone that I forget to disable all the time. Also risk being woken up from any phone notification that may go off during the night.  DING-A-LING B**** YOU GOT MAIL! WAKE UP!

2. Get up and go downstairs. Check to see that the alarm isn't set. Turn phone to silent.

Since I was technically on a roll from my previous adult-ish decision, I went with option number 2. I checked my phone and saw that I had received a Google Talk message and two emails. Lou had messaged me "dork" about an hour earlier. Thanks buddy. But the emails were to my art account. One was entitled Etsy Order Confirmation and the other was Notification of Payment Received.

I stood there, blocking the television, staring at my phone. "OH MYYYYY GOD, Lou. I sold a purse on Etsy! I have a sale!" My heart swelled. A sale! Mind you, it was midnight by this point. I went from sleepy to wide-f***ing-awake really fast. After doing a tiny dance, I ran upstairs to my office and removed the purse from my bin of finished items... and meticulously went over it, making sure that all the stitches were proper, that there were no snags, no blemishes. Then I got really nervous. What if it's not good enough? What if she doesn't like it? I hope she does. But that is for time to tell. I packaged it up nicely with tissue paper, inserted a thank you note, taped up the box and said goodbye to it.

 

So, dear purchaser, if you are out there. Thank you. Not only for your purchase, but for restoring a little bit of my confidence. Thank you so much. 

time to step up.

Hurricanes. They're no joke. Period.

I know a lot of people were poking fun at those who went to the store to stock up on basic provisions like food, water and batteries to prepare for the storm. I sat by those conversations, but tuned them out and refused to contribute in any way. You know why? Because the people who prepared for the worst, but hoped for the best were smart. Sure, forecasters can hype up storms, and media coverage is completely redonk: They can cause a sense of panic, which is an unnecessary douchey-move. But to think that some of those people, the ones who did prepare, are still in the dark while their supplies quickly dwindle... how funny is that now, huh? It's not, and it never was.

I consider myself to be insanely lucky that no harm came to myself, my boyfriend future husband, or our home. We didn't even loose power, which is remarkable when thinking back to how the wind was howling, bending trees at odd angles and sending the rain down the road in cascading sheets. My family is unharmed. Some still without electricity, heat or running water. There were some lost trees and some scattered damages. But all are alive and healthy. What more could I ask for? Not too damn much.

You begin to think of everything that you take for granted on a daily basis, and it's overwhelming to think about how lucky you really are. Going to the grocery store. Filling up your gas tank. Making a cup of coffee. Sometimes I think I should not be this fortunate, and guilt slowly begins to bear down on my shoulders. Why did I come out unscathed, while my sister, who is nine months pregnant, has a cold, dark house without running water? How is that f***ing fair, I ask? It's not. Life isn't fair.

My sense guilt has turned into determination to help. We can all help. Disasters happen in this country and in this world every day. You can make donations to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief Program by calling 1-800-RED CROSS or by texting REDCROSS to 90999. You can lend a hand to your neighbors. Do you have an extra blanket, jacket or gloves to give to someone who doesn't have heat? How about inviting them over for a hot meal and a chance to warm up? Are you going to the store? You can buy an extra gallon of water, some toothpaste or some canned goods for your community relief shelter. Do you know anyone who was evacuated? How about asking them if they'd like to stay at your house, even if it's just for a night or two? In short, anything can help. Kindness and consideration for others, no matter how small, might mean the world to someone who is in need. 

Homes? They can be repaired. Material possessions? They can be replaced. But saying those things cannot and will not fix the pain that so many thousands, dare I say, millions of people are bearing, and will bear in the weeks and months to come. Especially not to those who have lost everything, including loved ones. They need us.

WANT.

Photo courtesy of the amazing Allie Brosh: Hyperbole and a Half

I've been on a clean-the-house kick. What does this have to do with art, you ask? Well, damn! Hold on bro', I'll get to it... I've been washing walls, baseboards, spackling, painting, touching up shit and basically making things look and smell all kinds of fresh. I still don't know why I'm on such a kick, it probably has to do with how distracted I get. But once I fix stuff up, then I start thinking about decorating. That's like, a natural girl-thing to do right? I'm such a cliché.

So anywho, my BIG fix-up project will be our third floor. I probably won't even start it until the winter, so it makes me wonder why I'm thinking about it so much. It's an enclosed loft-ish space with a damaged ceiling, a bad paint job, and ceiling fan that looks like it might fall off at any moment. Not to mention the Moe damage. My fuzzy bunny has basically chewed his way around the room, gnawing at the baseboards and any wooden furniture standing in his adorable way. It's adorably horrible.

Now usually when I plan out these projects, I start by mapping out a course of attack: Estimating the amount of rollers I'll need, how much spackle, the paint color, blah blah. But yesterday, again for some friggin' reason unknown, I was all like "I really want to hang up a bunch of really funny or crappy cross stitches up there once I'm finished painting." And then a monster was born. And the monster was called Jill Looks On Etsy All Day For Geeky Cross Stitches.

And here is only some of what I found.
My God. The creativity is just amazeballs.

Hey Girl, by DefiantDamsel

Clerks II, by DefiantDamsel

Don't Do Coke, by knitforvictory

 

Dat Shit Cray, by LaughingStitchesByC



Moonrise Kingdom, by bobby2scoops

YOU IS FINE, by OhTriviality

Shut Up And Make Me A Sammich, by Stitcharific

NYAN CAT, by risibleitinerant

I could literally keep going all day. I think I might be getting obsessed. If you're looking to purchase me an obligatory wedding present, consider a wacky cross stitch. I'd rather have those than new dishes.  See? I told you the back story about all the cleaning shit was worth something.

Glasstacular!

ALRIGHT, now I don't know what my problem is, but I've been having an awfully hard time updating this blog lately! Especially when I was all like "I'm going to upload pictures on Saturday!" Sad. That Saturday was 3 WEEKS AGO. Jill Fail.

So, to go back in time a little... Here is a post that I started and I totally planned on posting. But I didn't. ONWARD!


I can't lie. I'm so proud. I finished that glass, and I friggin' dominated it. I was all like, I'm totally going to finish you on time, and it's going to look so ga'damn professional that even you'll think you were made by a professional. And it was all like I'm glass so I can't talk, but OK!. It's probably one of the best one's I've completed to date. Alright, I'm done with my horn tooting. OK one more. TOOT.

Now onto logistics. After my last post, I evened out the seams at the 45 degree angle with wood filler, and let it sit until it was totally dry. After a quick sanding with my trusty mouse-sander, I gave it a light coat of primer. I knew there would be imperfections, and the primer totally told me where I needed more wood filler and sanding. After filling and sanding again, I gave the frame 2 more coats of primer, let it dry, and then rolled on 3 coats of a satin interior/exterior paint. The slight roughness of the roller pad gave the frame a great finish. I removed the protective papers, cleaned it up a little and set onto my next task.



Joints filled, awaiting it's first sanding!

Joints filled, sanded, primed, filled, sanded, primed, then painted! Waiting for the paper removal!

I began to think... how would I hang this? Should I do it, or should I let them do it? Just to cover my bases, I decided to write up detailed instructions. Not only about how to hang them, but how to clean them also. I decided to use two evenly placed rubber coated eyes-hooks on the top of each frame, which would hang neatly from a linked-chain, which I attached to screws.

When I got to their house, it was decided that I would hang the glass. Hell, I had the directions to follow, so why not!? After measuring and marking, I carefully drilled four pilot holes and screwed in screw-eyes that had the chains attached. After some slight adjustments, we carefully hung the glass. With my job complete, I snapped some photographs and bid my friends farewell for the evening.
 

You can see the eye-hook and chain detail a little in this picture.

Thanks, car. For photo-bombing me.

 

fond memories

Yesterday I had the pleasure of running into my former sculpture professor while I was hanging up fliers for the Bike Art & Student show at the MRAC (<-- another story, for another time). I had just paid for my large iced coffee at the local DD, when I turned around and instantly recognized her. And I was so flattered that she recognized me as well. With our coffees in hand, and my bike in tow, we walked back to her home where we discussed our activities over the past seven years. I was surprised that she remembered my bark and latex figures. They were something that I've always loved to work on, and should do so more often, now that I think about it.

From the way I was explaining my so called 'art-goings-on' it honestly sounded like I was trying to convince not only her, but myself of my involvement in the art world, if you could call it that. I've done a good amount of work in the past couple years... but... I don't know. Nothing extraordinary, I guess. And no, I'm not being hard on myself. It's the simple truth. I'm an artist with professional training with a full time accounting job. I try to allot the time to work on pieces on my 'off-time', and sometimes I simply cannot. Sometimes I feel like I've failed already.

Seeing her again... It makes me yearn to begin new sculptures. It makes me want to finish the work that I have already begun. It makes me sad that I don't have a functional sculpture studio space to work in. Sure, I have my 'office' that doubles as my sewing room, where I can cut stained glass and paint... but a sculpture studio, it will never be. I'll either ruin the floor, muck up the walls, damage the stairway to and fro, this or that or so on. Sigh.

Will I ever work on sculpture ever again? HELL YES I WILL. I don't know when, but I have so many concepts that I want to explore. I wonder if other artists have gone through similar periods in their lifetime. First and foremost, I have to finish three projects that I've already started. None of which I'm keeping myself. Only one of which I'm being paid for. I have to stop doing that, too.

no news is good news.

This is a small painting I began during the week, after I wrote my last post about the confusion I was feeling. I grabbed a handful of colors and brush and began aimlessly painting my feelings. I saw a newspaper lying next to me and decided to incorporate some headlines and articles. Today, I added a pastel drawing: A girl in the corner, burying her head: Protecting herself from the world around her. And the saying "sometimes no news is good news".

While being the recipient of good news is always great, being on the receiving end of bad news seldom feels so good. In fact, I think most would agree that it f***ing sucks. Especially for a person who doesn't deal with feelings as productively as she should. Too often have I bottled my emotions and let them explode at an inopportune moments. I'm trying much harder these days to deal with the realities that life offers, even if it means that I have to contemplate the path that I travel much more often.

I've always taken comfort in this little saying. It's a saying that, in my immediate family, always follows the phrase: "So other than that, there's nothing else new or exciting going on." But the reality is, sometimes there is news. It's not always exciting, and you have to deal with it the best you can and be a comfort to those around you. Getting some of my feelings out onto a canvas felt... I don't know... fulfilling, I guess. Much better than an explosive crying fit. Although I'm only 1/2 through a bottle of wine: The night is young.

black bean stew, from another country

I thought I'd post something a little different, since well.. I'm a little different. Here's my most favorite recipe in the whole world at the moment.  It's Brazilian Black Bean Stew. I don't know if it's actually Brazilian. It could be American or Latvian Orthodox for all I know. Although the sausage in it tells me it's not Orthodox. My gut tells me that it's probably more Mexican. Probably only because there's a Chipolte Mexican Grill. ONWITHIT! And of course, enjoy.

 

 

blood donation

In all of my comings and goings, sometimes I forget to schedule things that are important to me, like donating blood. Let's face it: I'm no millionaire, but I love to give. Blood is a great thing to give because...
1. I have lots of it.
2. It grows back, if you could call it growing back.
3. I get a pretzels, juice AND a sticker. A STICKER!!!

Oopsy daisy.

On Sunday, I accidentally donated blood when I was stained-glassing. I was grinding the edges of every piece by hand in a vat of warm soapy water when I somehow slipped up and sliced two fingers on my left hand. I think it looked a lot worse that it was, but it was a great reminder that I need to PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I'M DOING. Let's face it people. I can't afford to loose another digit. 

I made excellent progress over the weekend with the glass: It is completely cleaned up, copper foiled and ready to solder. Which was a lot more than I was planning on accomplishing. (MENTAL HIGH FIVE, HUZZAAAAH!) Yesterday, I showed some of the pictures below to a co-worker of mine (a very art-savy co-worker, mind you) and he said that the glass reminds him of (drum-roll please...) Gustav Klimt!! I was seriously blown away that he saw the resemblance, and I was really proud of myself for correctly emulating his style, which was my ultimate goal!

Sometime in the near future I want to sketch out my plan for the frames, because they'll have to be sturdy enough to hold the weight of the solder and glass. Here are some fun pictures so far. I don't want to upload an image of the whole piece because I don't want to ruin the surprise!
And, I managed to make a real appointment to donate blood this morning. Guess who's wearing a sticker RIGHT NOW? This guy!

1,900 page views, say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

THAT'S RIGHT. 1,900 page views! Now, I realize that it's slightly less traffic than Google or Regretsy, but damnit I'm proud. AND I didn't click on my blog 1,900 times either. That makes me more prouder. To celebrate, I went to Subway and got my most favorite treat of all times: A foot-long tuna on wheat with red onions and hot sauce. Gross, I know... BUT DELICIOUS.  The Subwayers missed me, too. Bread and meat guy said "I haven't seen you in awhile" while the topping lady said "It's been too long, yes?". Sigh. It's nice to be wanted. Apparently, with my 1,900 page hits I'm in high demand. Don't worry. There's enough Jill to go around.

Last night I made all eight straps for the cushions I'm reupholstering. I didn't think it would take too long, but it totally did. After cutting eight  2-1/2x11" strips, I sewed the long sides together, turned them inside out, finished off the edges and ironed on the fabric fusion Velcro. If the strips were a little thicker, I think it would have been easier. The more narrow it is, the harder it is to turn inside out. It's all good though. I'll be ready to sew the cushions together this weekend!

Thanks for reading and keeping up with my artsyness friends! I appreciate your time so very much!

how bazaar!

No, I didn't spell bazaar wrong. I meant bazaar, not bizarre. How bizarre! See? OK enough.

A little over a week ago, I was completing my random Google searches for the day when I decided to type in phildelphia craft show. To be honest, I wanted to see if Philadelphia had a similar event that was comparable to the show in Baltimore that I attended back in February. One result caught my eye: The Art Star Craft Bazaar that will be held at Penn's Landing here in Philadelphia on May 12th-13th. I checked out the site and was intrigued... local handmade crafts? Live music? Tasty treats?! The opportunity to sell my bags and get m'name out there? Check, check, checkity-check-CHECK. I had to make a decision quickly about whether or not I would try to participate, because the application deadline was looming.
But let's face it. If I sit and contemplate a decision too long, I end up not making a decision. But, by not making a decision, I'm making the decision against whatever I'm contemplating. OH SWEET JEBUS, I'VE GONE AND CONFUSED THE S*** OUTTA MYSELF. I decided to throw caution to the wind and have my impulses make the choice: I completed and submitted my application, and now... I wait for word to see if I'm accepted.

Do I want to participate? Absolutely. And not quite. I'm thrilled to think that I could be one of 140 artists to be chosen. I'm also terrified to think that I could be one of 140 artists to be chosen. I would need to sew bags, literally every other waking moment of my day until May 12th. I would need to get my act together FAST and figure out business logistics. It would be a ton of work. But, it will all be TOTALLY WORTH IT. More importantly, I'm comfortable with whatever decision they come to. Either way, I tried! I can't be disappointed in that!

SO. It all boils down to this.  Did the Art Star Craft Bazaar accept me as a vendor in their 2012 show?
The answer is: Nope.

But that's OK. I'm a little sad.... a little relived. Maybe next year will be different!

fraud.

(just a quick note: I'm leaving names of people and galleries out of this.)

Almost exactly one year ago, I received a request to make 25 wine bags for a woman who saw one in a gallery space off of South Street. To say that I was excited was an understatement. I was elated to think that someone would like my creations so much, that they'd buy 25 of them to give out to family and friends as a gift! I promptly set myself to the task, working tirelessly to complete the job.

Flash forward one year later.

Lou and I set out to a gallery we both admired for their First Friday show: A photography exhibit by a wonderful local artist. I also brought along a new wine bag, tie purse, and my business cards, just in case there might have been an opportunity to talk and make an appointment to come back with more of my work. I recognized one of the store's employees almost immediately, as Lou and I have chatted with her on a previous occasion. After catching up, and thanking her for inspiring me to create more my new little business, she then introduced me to the store owner: I had such a lovely time talking with her. I was so flattered that she admired my tie purse, that after a flash of confidence, I brought out my wine bag, telling her that I was interested in displaying them in the store as well. She mentioned that there was another wine bag in the store, and went to retrieve it for me to see.

At first when I saw the wine bag, I felt like my eyes just didn't focus on it right. Then my stomach sank. Was that the fabric that my mom had given to me? Was that the tie that I picked out to go with the fabric? Was that the same exact design that I came up with? It was. It was one of the 25 wine bags that I had made for that woman a year ago.

"Oh my gosh. I made that. That's my wine bag." was all I could muster out. I turned over the price tag and saw the name of the woman I sold the bags to. I was shocked. And sad. I felt so stupid. So very stupid. How could someone take my work and put their name on it?

I ended up telling the surprised gallery owner my entire story: My excitement for the commission, my not-so-great transaction with the purchaser, and how everyone, literally everyone, kept telling me that I wasn't charging enough for the bags. Turns out that I wasn't. She didn't want to buy them to give out to family and friends: She saw a girl undercharging her handmade items, and saw an opportunity to make a buck off of them. And she did. The gallery owner and the store's employees believed me 100%, thank goodness, and I feel like they might have been just as shocked as I was. They had someone defraud them as well.

At the end of the night, Lou and I walked out to my car, where I promptly exploded into messy tears. My feelings of shock and sadness turned into disgust and anger: Not only for the purchaser, but for myself as well. Unfortunately, it put yet another dent in my faith for humanity. But I know there will be positives to come out of the whole experience. I think the gallery would really love to have my bags and purses in the shop. And I know I've made new friends there, too.

I do feel like I need to make  or find another charm for my necklace. LESSON LEARNED, it should say.

addicted to the sew.

As I sat down last night at my crafting table after my gym excursion and subsequent long shower, I began to think about the scrap fabric I had hidden in a shoe box in my closet. I literally have hundreds of six inch strips left over from my string quilt-top, and it seemed like such a shame to keep them cooped up in there. I pulled the box out, selected some random strips and began playing with different combinations, colors and patterns.

I don't know how it happened, or if I was even conscious while doing it... but one thing led to another, and I made four new wine bags. I just started sewing one little scrap to another little scrap, and before you know it, WHAM! I'm hot-gluing tiny ties onto the fronts of four new bags. I adore the way they turned out. It took me almost four hours to make them, which is about the time it takes me to make ten bags out of one solid piece of fabric. But the results speak for themselves: It looks like wine bags on LSD. Or the work of a crazy woman obsessed with her sewing machine. 

I think I may have a sewing problem. The first step to acceptance is admitting you have a problem, right?

Zoe Strauss: Ten Years

Yesterday I was lucky enough to accompany my two great friends (who you may remember from earlier blog adventures ) to the Philadelphia Museum of Art to view "Zoe Strauss: Ten Years". After circling the museum for what seemed like forever trying to find a parking spot through the waves of visitors (good for the museum but unfortunate for my road rage) I finally headed in, skipping the admissions line because they were nice enough to grab a ticket for me. It was an amazing show, but left me feeling utterly… I dunno… uncomfortable.

New York Times reporter Karen Rosenberg shared her thoughts on exhibition: But where the article shines in its description of Strauss' past I-95 exhibitions and her ability to capture the essence and grittiness of the moment, it fails to convey the feeling that one gets viewing her photographs within the confines of the museum. Rosenberg notes that: "This [exhibition] feels a bit overloaded, if deliberately so, with 170 prints and 3 slide shows arrayed in a space much smaller than the football-field-size site under the highway." I do in fact believe that large number of prints was a deliberate move, forcing the viewer to acknowledge the daily blight that surrounds our so-called "comfort zones".

But what makes the room feel overcrowded is not the work itself, but the massive amounts of viewers that have paid admission to view these scenes of life captured in neighborhoods that lie far from the PMA. You wouldn’t be able to pay these people to take a tour of Camden, Biloxi, or Hunting Park, let alone meet the people that are the subjects of the photographs. Strauss has raised my consciousness through this juxtaposition, making the safe world of the PMA feel utterly uncomfortable, and making me yearn to view the photographs under I-95. I haven’t felt that moved by an exhibition in years, and for that she deserves a whole-hearted WELL DONE. 

Clearly, I need to plan an outing to view her Billboard Project around the city. I think seeing the photographs, larger than life in Philadelphia's neighborhoods, will have me appreciating her work more than I do now.

6 years.

I've been at my job for six years today. SIX. YEARS. Say whaaaaaaaaaaa...?

It's not a total shock. I think. Maybe it is. I've been expecting this day to come for awhile... but not really expecting. Confused yet? I am. To commemorate this lackluster momentous day, I posted a little blurb on FB stating: "I made it to 6 years at this same job. Exciting, yet very depressing at the same time." My cousin replied: "either way you look at it, it's an accomplishment in and of itself. now, go buy yourself a present. xo" (Believe me, I'll be buying myself a present in the form of an ice cream sandwich after the gym tonight. Again, exiting and yet very depressing.)

And a former teacher-slash-wise woman-slash-mentor of the ages said this: "Try going to the American Craft Council Show in Baltimore the end of February. Talk to some of the artists. They are making a living doing what you love. Tick tock!! Life is short. Start to show your work in a gallery. Isaac would be proud."

Touché, touché, touché. Kick in the pants received, and greatly appreciated. I immediately booked a hotel room, purchased a three day pass to the event, and requested a 1/2 day of work that Friday. I'll have my business cards by then, my Etsy site up and running, and plenty of samples to bring with me. I think it's high-time I start taking bigger risks to achieve my goals.  Let's do this.