The similarities are that they both infect you and make you feel terrible. I’m pretty sure that’s where the similarities end. A person virus... let's just say the common cold for this matter, makes you feel crappy for about 4 days. Eventually the headache disappears, the snot dries up, and the raspy voice and mucusy throat are a distant memory. Congratulations! You’re back to normal. Let’s celebrate by going out to a bar and getting another cold! A computer virus makes you feel crappy to the 10th degree until it’s finally gone. I don’t even know what that means, but it feels like shit. And it’s not like tea and chicken noodle soup will help. You need a computer-ninja, someone to sneak into your computer like those people from the Matrix sneak into the Matrix and set shit straight… a master of the hard drive: Like my friend Mike. Onto the story.
On Saturday morning after I wrote my previous blog post, I decided that it would be an awesome day to sit and sew whilst listening to Pandora radio. This was not to be. The second I clicked on Pandora, things went to shit. Instant virus. Windows kept popping up telling me how bad shit was, and that my memory was gone. I believed that lying piece of jerk virus for about 5 seconds, until I saw a window that said “buy the full version here!”. That makes NO SENSE. Why WHY would I want to buy a full version of a virus? For the next 4 hours, I was closing obnoxious windows, restarting in safe mode, running virus software (that kept saying that nothing was detected) crying and sitting in my pj’s trying to figure out how the hell I was going to fix my problem. I just wanted to listen to the Fiona Apple station. Then shit got real, yo.I finally decided that brownies would fix my problem. Usually when something in my life goes wrong, I try to temporarily forget them by making myself something delicious. It’s not uncommon to find me in the kitchen after a bad day. Then out of the blue (the blue sporty-car they own, I knew they were coming over so it wasn't out of the blue-blue) Mike and Lauren arrived and solved two of the biggest problems in my life.
1) Who would help me eat all these brownies so I don’t get a fat-ass?
2) Can someone solve my computer virus problem?
Answers: THEY DID.
All was right in the world again. I only finished 20 squares this weekend (170 down, 54 to go) but all in all, Halloween is supposed to scare the shit outta you right? Mission accomplished. Next year, I think I’ll go as a computer virus.
In slightly related news, this was my Friday night. It's self explanatory.
In slightly related news, this was my Friday night. It's self explanatory.
