seasonal creative syndrome

Since I basically know everything there is to know about stuff in general (LOL!) I diagnosed myself with SCS. I call it Seasonal Creative Syndrome. Every year when the temperature spikes above 60 degrees, I emerge from my work space, pale and groggy, rubbing my eyes and looking up into that giant ball of energy we call the sun. My attention swiftly drifts from doing anything indoors to doing everything outdoors. Thoughts of sewing bags turn into thoughts of sewing new cushions for the bar stools outside. Painting with acrylics and oils becomes spray painting outdoor patio furniture. And organizing my office space? No... that becomes trimming vines, planting flowers and sweeping the patio.

Who doesn't love working outside?! I basically grew up wanting to mow the lawn every chance I got, and if weeding had to be done, believe me: IT GOT DONE WITH GUSTO. Years and years of city apartment living deprived me of the opportunity to garden, and now... well, now I'm all up on it like stink on s***.

There were bags that I wanted to sew this weekend... but I didn't. There was a sculpture I wanted to start... but I didn't. And you know what? For once I don't feel too bad about not completing something I set out to do. I spent my time outside in the sun. Trimming vines, transplanting iris's, installing a new patio light, turning soil, and admiring the small world of our backyard. And I'll do it again, every chance I get.

our garden, last year in the springtime.

bueller? anyone?

I feel the urge to craft today. Or at least do something, DAMNIT.

I've been feeling very blah lately.  Much of that feeling comes from being sick.  I'm on my 11th day of not feeling 100%, and now instead of it taking a toll on my physical well being, it's taking a toll on my mental well being. At first I was all like, "Nah, I'm OK!  It's just a cold, it'll pass! Life is good!"  Now I'm all like "I want to do something, but I'm still sitting on the couch moping about my lack of actually doing anything. What should I do?".  It's a vicious crappy cycle, based solely on my inability to GET THE F&*$ UP AND DO SOMETHING. Plus I keep having coughing fits which annoy the shit out of anyone I'm around. So I'm better off doing something by myself, or at least that's what my head is telling me.

The thing is, I want to do a bunch of things: Go out to get a beer with real people, sew more rows of the quilt, cook a delicious meal, exercise, socialize.  BE PRODUCTIVE.  But who wants a fogged-head, coughing, snotty mess hanging around them? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before?.... sorry, I got carried away in the Bueller moment.

So tonight, my plans are to hit up hot yoga at 6:15 (<--check!).  Cook a nice soup out of all the awesome produce I've gotten from Produce Junction (<--check!).  Do something crafty (<--check!).  And for chrissake, make actual plans for tomorrow night (<--friggin check!).

(updates in bold!)

frustrated.

I've been trying to upload a damn photo of my damned stained glass, and I can't get the damned thing to upload in the right direction.  DAMNIT damnity damn.  I've been so friggin' frustrated this week (and by this week I mean pretty much all of last week, this past weekend and today) with my lack of... well, ANYTHING!  I had all these lofty plans to do SOMETHING and basically none of it got done.  Trying to demo the backsplash in the kitchen?  Fail.  Starting the mounting for the stained glass?  Fail.  Starting the two little side-by-side paintings?  Semi-fail.  Exercise?  BIG FAIL.

I need to get my friggin' act together.  Today.  NOW.  These are my plans.
Work:  Retype all the recipes I've printed out the past year.  Yes, you read that right.  I will do this at work.
Gym:  I will run 3.1 miles and stretch like hell before and after.
Art: I will paint the negative space on the side-by-side paintings.
I will also research where to by the solder patina I need.
I will also revise my stained glass frame drawings, as I was stupid and did not measure the glass before.  I thought each panel was 10x10.  Yeah, it's actually only 9x9.

Time to hold my self accountable for stuff.  Time to get this shit done.

I need his help.

oh, so that's what it was.

OK, so I figured out that my mind wasn't a jumble of projects on Saturday.  It was just a jumble of negative feelings that I needed to sort out, all of which I will not post here.  This is an art blog, not a "lemme bitch about this" blog!  Despite my lack of motivation and my attempt to watch as much TV as possible, I did manage to get work done on the sign.  Actually, I got a lot done.  I started by sanding it down, then staining it a light pine color.  Since the design has a 3" border around the edges, I taped it off and painted it a light yellow.  Once everything dried, I hauled the two pieces back inside and started drawing the triangular design. The design isn't something I made up completely... the company that will be selling the hot sauce has this design on their website.  I thought I'd try to tie everything together, ya know?

the top 1/2 of the sign w/pattern

I only managed to get the pattern down and painted in on one side of the sign, which you can see here to the left.  The two bigger squares in the corner will have the same colors as the company's logo. 


I printed out the text that I'll be using, as well as the logo.  So now all there is to do is repeat the design on the second half of the panel, hinge it together, sketch the text and paint it in.  Today is the 8th, so I have a couple days until my August 15th deadline.  I think I can do it.

shoot.

I can't seem to find the motivation today to start any projects... or do anything special in general.  Why is that?  Ooh, I started the laundry.  Big deal. I've showered... yay, now I'm clean and unmotivated! My mind seems to be a jumble of projects.  So where do I start?  I've been awake for 3 hours and still no motivational-dice.
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What will drive me today... what will inspire me today TO GET MY BUTT MOVING?  I've been on a roll the past week, so what makes today any different? Shit.  All these questions and no answers yet.  Maybe I'll look up a recipe, get out of the house and recollect.

distractions.

Today I decided to start a blog to chronicle the things that could inspire me... I wonder if chronicle is the right word to use there?  Any who, moving right along... there are so many things I encounter every day: Sounds, sights, flavors, textures.  But sometimes I still lack the drive to create and craft about these interesting things.  Why is that?  Here's one answer I thought of.

Sometimes I tend to go on crafting binges.  Maybe I'm a bi-polar crafter.  (No offense to people with bi-polar disorder, obviously.)  And by that I mean, I'll go crazy getting supplies, planning out and starting a new project.  I'll start creating, get excited... then slack off and not finish.  Why can't I finish what I've started and why do I lack the drive I need?  And why (OH WHY) do I get so distracted by the Food Network?!  Maybe because right now, I'm on a cooking and grilling binge.  Seriously, creating art you can eat is almost as satisfying as seeing your painting hanging on a wall.  And it's delicious.

Well, that's where Mr. Blog comes in.  Maybe I'm just not taking it all in like I use to.  That's what she said.  Sorry, I had to put that in there.  That's what she said.  OK, I'LL STOP.  My thoughts are this: Stop and look around every once and awhile... that rusty piece of shit car... look at the colors and textures!  Can I emulate those in an encaustic painting?  How about the piece of bark that's falling off the tree, or the texture of the bark on my skin?  Can those things inspire me to finish my current project and stop slacking off?  Hopefully I can can chronicle them all here.  See?  Chronicle was the right word in the first place.

So what is my inspiration for the day?  Right now it's a mural I'm assisting on downtown.  I'm really excited to go down there and help.  It makes me think about projects that I'd like to do, too.  And in the end, isn't that what keeps me going?  The thoughts about what could be done in the future, while enjoying things now and still living in the present?  I hope so.  We'll see, shall we?